As Clean As Cold Water Can Get Them Larry went to visit his 86 year old grandfather in a very rural area. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, Larry's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon and eggs. Larry noticed a film like substance on his place, and questioned his grandfather asking, ""Are these plates clean?"" His grandfather replied, ""They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal"". For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, Larry…

Larry, a local football star, was jogging down the street when he saw a building on fire. A lady was standing on a third-story ledge holding her pet cat in her arms. "Hey lady!" yelled Larry. "Throw me the cat!" "No!" she cried. "It's too far!" "I play football, I can catch him!" The smoke was pouring from the windows, and finally the woman waved to Larry, kissed her cat goodbye, and tossed it down to the street. Larry kept his eye on the cat as it came plunging down toward him. The feline bounc…

Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat.

(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?