An American was playing golf in India on a remote country course. The local people had not seen many Americans before, so his presence soon attracted a sizeable crowd who watched his progress enthusiastically. He seemed to respond to the attention, making a succession of low scores, which his new-found fan club applauded warmly. On the eleventh hole, he surpassed himself by holing a thirtyfoot putt for a birdie. As the ball went in, the crowd shouted: "Tiger Woods! Tiger Woods!" He thought such adulation was a little over-the-top but when he turned to acknowledge them, they had all vanished. That's when he saw the tiger come out of the woods. A father phoned the doctor. "Doctor, come quick, we've got an emergency! My little boy has swallowed my golf tees!" "Okay," said the doctor, "I'll be with you as soon as I can." "Tell me what to do till you get here." The doctor said: "Practise your putting."