A little boy went to school one day and while he was gone, his cat got run over by a truck. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console the boy saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in heaven with God now." To which the boy replied, "What's God going to do with a dead cat!?"

My dog drank gasoline This is one my dad sprung on me when I was a kid. For this one, you've got to tell it completely deadpan. Like, this is totally serious, otherwise it won't work. Tried this out a couple of months ago at the lunch table at work. Had them the whole time until the punchline...they were horrified. When I got to the punchline, they all lost it. ""I was cleaning some grease of off some car parts this weekend and had a little gasoline in a cup sitting on the floor of the garage. M…

One day a priest was walking on a pier when he noticed a guy in a boat fishing He waves to the fisherman, and the fisherman asks him if he'd like to join him in the boat for a little angling. The priest enthusiastically agrees but explains that he's never fished before. The angler says he'll teach him. On his first cast, the priest hauls in a really big fish. The fishermen exclaims, ""Wow! That's a big son of a b****!"" Realizing he's in the presence of a priest, the fisherman says, ""Oh, father…

Once upon a time...... .....a little boy named John lived a village with his mother. His father already died in an accident and his mother has to work very hard to run the family. John was hated by his classmates at school for stupidity in class. Even the class teacher said to him, ""You are driving me crazy John!"" One day her mother went to his school to check on his progress and was speaking to the teacher. The teacher was being very honest and told her the truth about her son and how disaste…