The municipal philharmonic symphony and chorus were rehearsing.... The municipal philharmonic symphony and chorus were rehearsing Symphony No. 9 by Ludwig Von Beethoven. Since the chorus doesn't enter until the final movement, the singers were becoming very bored - especially the men in the back row. Then the basses had a clever idea. During break, they tied a nylon fish-line around the conductor's score, 4 pages prior to the beginning of the last movement. They ran the line up through a roof ve…

Bob sees his new neighbor working in his driveway... Wanting to be friendly, he walks over to the driveway where his new neighbor is repairing his car. ""Hey neighbor!"" he says affably. Hearing the voice, a big shaggy dog comes running over and starts sniffing Bob's feet. ""Hey,"" the neighbor grunts. ""I see you've got a dog! I've got a dog too!"" ""What kind?"" the neighbor asks, not looking up from the engine. ""Oh, ole Shep's a Collie mix. He's one of the smartest dogs I know!"" ""That's ni…

So there are two race horses named Moe & Joe (Joke by a friend from middle school) So there were these two racehorses named Moe & Joe, they were like two bugs in a rug two fish in the sea, which is so very hard for two racehorses to be. They always tied! One day Moe & Joe were racing, neck & neck as they always were, but then at the last minute Moe jumped ahead and won the race. Back at the stable Joe said to Moe ""What happened Moe? We're supposed to be two bugs in a rug, two fi…

The Foo Bird Bob is out on the links enjoying a nice round of golf with his buddy Bill. Suddenly, on the fourth fairway, a huge bird flies overhead and drops a turd on Bob's head. ""Whatever you do, Bob,"" says Bill, ""don't wipe that turd off your head! EVER!"" ""Why not?"" asks Bob. ""I've got a huge bird turd on my head and you're saying I have to keep it on my head for the rest of my LIFE?"" ""Yes,"" says Bill. ""It's a foo bird. And you know what they say about foo birds..."" But just as Bi…