My girlfriend does not like my beagle Molly, so I have to rehome her. She is a purebured from a wealthy area and I have had her for 4 years. She likes to play games. She's not totally trained. Has long hair so she's a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them done. Stays up all night yapping but sleeps when I work. She only eats the BEST, most expensive food. Will NEVER greet you at the door after a long day or give you unconditional love when you're down. Does not…

I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.

told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco

"I'm a vegetarian but I eat fish." - People who don't get how definitions work.