*throws a dead pigeon at jerk who cut me off in traffic* Wife: Hun, I don't think "flipping the bird" means what you think it means.

Top Fears 1.Walking on manholes 2.Driving, hit a deer, windshield breaks, deer caught and frantically bucks me to death 3.Christopher Walken

Rabbit and the blonde A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the…

A man was driving his Jeep out through the desert and looks up ahead and sees a man standing beside the road. As he approaches he sees the man is standing beside a dead horse. Miles from the city he offers the man a ride back into town. The man has a bit of a speech impediment and replies ""Thank you mithah, I would weally apprethiate a wide into town. But, can you do me a faaavah? Can you hep me liff this horth into the back of your Jeep?"" The man is taken aback.. ""Why on earth do you need to…