DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength.
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Beer makes me feel invincible. Vodka makes me feel innvienceablrerrer. *falls down*
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU
Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.
Joke ID:
01KKTNP2HRPS8S49SX1A679Q3N