New Year's Eve is just a myth created by the government to sell you more years

On a positive note, once Trump becomes president and burns the world to the ground, our student loan debt is essentially wiped clean

"That Will Smith is a nice young man, I hope he wins Celebrity Apprentice." No Grandma, that's Ben Carson and this is the Republican Debate

trump: ban muslims jeb bush: i disagree. just like dad would. who used to be president ben carson: how did spongebob make fire underwater