"Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog

Yes,I put my kid on a leash. I'm not scared of her being abducted. I just REALLY wanted a puppy instead.

The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.

"nice dog or cat or baby or whatever" i offer politely, my eyes scanning the room for the taco dip. "was it expensive?"