Your volume level is at a flamboyantly gay band geek and I need you to turn it down to a shy Asian transfer student.

Fun Fact: I love it when Americans whose Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Grandfather emigrated from Ireland say "I'm Irish". No.

[high school] Teacher: do u have your homework? Ryan Lochte: I was murdered last night

[family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock