What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner? Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!

[dies and goes to hell] me: "mom? dad!? what are you doing here!" dad: "we used to switch your food with the dog's food sometimes."

Me (to a baby): Hush little baby don't say a word. Momma's gonna buy you a mocking bird Mom: like hell I'll buy that kid anything..

Salmon and Chef A salmon walks into a restaurant, finds the chef and tells him: Hey, you! You've killed my father! Sure, tells the cook, this is my job. I kill fish, fry them and serve to people. I want you to stop doing this. Dude, this is what I do. If I stop, my family dies from hunger. OK. Let's play chess. If you win - kill me and fry me. If I win - you quit your job. And they started playing chess. Salmon wins, and the cook takes his knife, cuts salmon's belly and starts to dress it…