[dinner party] mario: what's in this risotto? me: mushroom, you're not allergic? mario: *grows to like 20 feet*

when I kiss a guy who has a mustache I'll close my eyes and pretend he's either Mario or Luigi, depending on his height

"Congratulations, the baby's got green overalls!" Peach sobs. Mario flies into a rage.

Mario is a game where you save a girl from the terrible fate of hanging with a dude who owns a castle