It's hard not to bring up the fact I'm vegan whenever people talk about food or a new restaurant or that their mom just died or
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Of course I work out. I do burpees after drinking pop. I do lunges to grab the last slice of pizza & squats if I drop it.
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
[first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza.
Joke ID:
01KKTNNRJC3Q8GVN4PWR0K8AEF