I bet in hell you have to sleep in a hot bedroom with a pillow that never has a cool side.

Whenever I'm behind a college girl in starbucks she has to order a triple mocha dark chocolate raspberry ugg boot white iphone 5 spice latte

Using my toes to pick something up makes it hard to go to church on Sunday.

Went to "The Social Network." I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids.