Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas

France declared war on al Qaida yesterday. Thank God, for someone needed to teach the terrorists how to surrender.

The only thing more boring than Lance Armstrong's interview is the Tour de France.

Genuinely stunned France has adopted the word "wifi" rather than "le signal librement accessible sans l'utilisation de fils" or some shit.