"So you met the victim on tinder" Yes "Do you often meet women on tinder"? Yeah I've been murdering it on there *lawyer puts head in hands*
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"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU
If you roll out your chapstick more than an inch, I'll see you in court.
Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.
Joke ID:
01KKTNMRJ83KDEMFE74PGC1F3P