Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.

NURSE: Doctor, I've lost the cat's pulse VET: Ok. Time of death is 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, and 10:05

HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell

The Walking Dead is Jesus's favorite show.