ME: I want the car's brake lines to rust SCIENTIST: I'm listening ME: [slides over envelope full of cash] But make it look like an oxidant

MIND BLOWING SCIENCE FACT: 20% of all car crashes are actually battles between the Autobots and the Decepticons.

SCIENTIST: Behold The self-esteem powered car! Come take it for a drive ME: uh okay *gets in* [CAR JUST LITERALLY FALLS APART]

A man drives home from the musical instruments store... ... he has just bought a new drumset for his 10 year old son's birthday. He is going about 30 miles per hour through a residential neighborhood and listening to the radio when a Nickelback song comes on. He is annoyed and starts changing the channels. While he is distracted, his pickup truck (a blue Ford F-150) hits a speed bump at 30 mph. He immediately worries about the drumkit that he just bought, he looks back and sees a drum and two cy…