Bought a few packs of Sonicare toothbrush heads @ Costco today & the kids can't go to college anymore but at least they'll have clean teeth.

If zombies ever attack just go to Costco, they have walls, years of food and supplies, and zombies can't get in without a Costco membership

Just bought animal crackers and a kayak. I hate you Costco.

*buys a bunch of stuff at Costco* Sir, you wanna box for those? "Nah, I hate violence. Can I just pay cash?"