Bought 17 a fanny pack for back to school to delay my becoming a grandfather too early.

Your volume level is at a flamboyantly gay band geek and I need you to turn it down to a shy Asian transfer student.

Judging by this line at Costco it doesn't look like I'll ever see my family again. Sweet.

[high school] Teacher: do u have your homework? Ryan Lochte: I was murdered last night