Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat.

Hey General Motors, what about an electronic drum set on the steering wheel? You're welcome.

Whenever I'm behind a college girl in starbucks she has to order a triple mocha dark chocolate raspberry ugg boot white iphone 5 spice latte

Went to "The Social Network." I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids.