*gets out of bed* *steps on something* me: Ugh *turns light on* wife: What is it? me: The cat caught another smart car

The Hunter The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone about his hunting skills. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what calibre the bullet was that killed the animal. The hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and so the bet was on. They blindfo…

A big game hunter walked into the bar... ...and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him, and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel. And if he could locate the bullet hole. he would even tell them what caliber rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument was going on. Then the hunter said that he was wil…

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. ""Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?"", he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. ""Come on, man,"" the biker says, ""I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."" ""This is the worst day of my life,"" I say. ""I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car h…