Hi, I'm your son's teacher, Ms. Frizzle. Funny story, your kid is dead and inside a tortoise

What does the chemistry teacher like to do with his dead bodies after he kills 'em? Barium.

I tried to bring my dead friend to class with me, but the teacher kicked him out. Guess he's too ghoul for school.

Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead ? I didn't even know he was sick !