If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?

PATIENT: Someone gave me pills at a party and my stomach hurts DR: We took x-rays. You have spongy dinosaurs expanding inside you right now

Hey General Motors, what about an electronic drum set on the steering wheel? You're welcome.

A horse walks into a bar & the bartender says, "why the long face?" & the horse says, "why the English Lit degree?"