what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty

Guarantees in life: 1) death 2) taxes 3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it

Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month.

Me: "I need a home improvement loan." Banker: "What will you be using the money for?" Me: "A divorce lawyer."