[at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!#Money#Lawyer#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 Share
what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty#Religion#Lawyer#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
Guarantees in life: 1) death 2) taxes 3) me pulling the handle of your car door at the same moment you try to unlock it#Money#Driving#Dark Humor#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →
Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month.#Glenn#Money#Holiday#Dark Humor+1 more0🔗 SharePermalink →
Me: "I need a home improvement loan." Banker: "What will you be using the money for?" Me: "A divorce lawyer."#Marriage#Money#Lawyer#One-Liner0🔗 SharePermalink →