You can tell Tim Horton's is a Canadian franchise, because my donut just apologized for making me fat.

TIM: how are you? ME: it's Monday TIM: yeah ME: the sun is up TIM: are u just listing facts? ME: lettuce is a member of the sunflower family

"Tim's coming tonight" "Tim with hooves for feet or Tim that likes to bang coconut halves together?" [in the distance] clip-clop clip-clop

[SPELLING BEE] JUDGE: Tim, your word is "Oak" TIM: [deep breath] Ok *BUZZER* T: What th J: So close! It's O-'A'-K T: But... J: Hard luck, kid