Scissors [to Rock]: So you beat me & I beat Paper but how does Paper beat you? [cut to Paper meeting a hitman] Make it look like an accident

If it looks like a douchebag, and smells like a douchebag, then I must be walking by an Abercrombie & Fitch store.

I have to mispronounce 'Lincoln' and 'cologne' if I want to spell them correctly.

Cologne - because people shouldn't have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.