[high school] Teacher: do u have your homework? Ryan Lochte: I was murdered last night

Kids: haha you have to work and we don't have school today Me *closing the front door* I changed the wifi password. Love you guys!

I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..

If bars can say no to drunk people why won't McDonalds say no to fat people?