Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ. Soldier: You can just point to him. Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job.

A man who calls himself "Dog the Bounty Hunter" is currently hunting down a man named "War Machine". We all live inside a comic book now.

It's not an octopus. It's a water spider. And yes, so called "marine biologist", if you live in the ocean you swallow 8 of them every year.

Autocorrect just changed faux pas to faux pasta and this gluten war has gotten out of hand.