A woman shows up at the doctor with bruises all over her face... The doctor asks 'What happened to you?' Weeping, she says 'Well when my husband shows up at home after a night of drinking, he starts beating me!' 'There's a solution for that ma'am' says the doctor, 'Buy some milk caramels and when your husband comes home drunk, place 5 of these caramels in your mouth and chew veeery slowly' A month later the woman shows up at the doctor's office and says 'thank you doctor, your remedy worked wond…

A homeless wino went into the doctors office for an infected foot... The doctor treated the injury, but before letting him go, he asked his patient to stay for a small demonstration. The doctor brought out a tray, which held a bowl of worms, and two glasses - one full of milk, the other of whiskey. The doctor set the glasses on the table and told the wino ""now, watch what happens when I put a worm in each of the glasses"". He dropped a worm into the glass of milk - It swam around He then droppe…

Three friends meet up at the office, all hungover from the night before. Bill says ""Oh man. I feel so sick guys. I was so drunk last night that I forgot to call a cab. I ended up trying to drive home and got pulled over. The cop gave me a DUI and I ended up staying the night in jail."" Tom replied ""That's not so bad. I was so drunk last night that I barely managed to stumble home. I crawled up the stairs into bed with my wife. Later while I was asleep I heard her scream. I thought maybe someon…

So I walk into the doctors office. Doctor tells me my liver is showing a little bit of damage, and asks me if I drink a lot of alcohol. I told the doctor yea, I drink about a case of beer a day. Surprised, the doctor says that I need to slow down my drinking. I tell him okay. I go back 3 months later, he asks me how much I am drinking now. I tell him a case of beer a day. He looks at me sternly and says to me that we agreed I would slow down my drinking. I told him I did! A case use to take me 3…