Grandpa looks at his grandson and says, ""Go hide! Your teacher is here because you skipped school today."" The grandson says, ""No, you go hide. I told her you were dead!""

Little Timmy's Dream Little Timmy has been having nightmares. He just dreamt that his grandpa Jack died. The next day he wakes up and his father tells him that grandpa Jack died. Timmy is agitated but thinks it was a coincidence. The next day, he has a dream that his friend Jane dies. He goes to school, and the teacher announces that she is dead. Timmy runs home and tells his dad that he has dreams that come true. He dreamed that grandpa Jack and his friend Jane died and they did. His dad tells …

A little boy skips school... Grandpa: ""Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!!"" Little Boy: ""No you go hide because I told her you were dead!""

Philosophy Major: True story With five minutes left in his class, a philosophy professor decides to talk about his own college experience. ""Philosophy is basically a dead-end major. You know where your career is going when you sign up for it."" He looks at one student and asks, ""What would your parents say if you told them you were changing your major to Philosophy."" The student says, ""They'd be thrilled. See, I am a theater major.""