A cop pulls over a blonde. A cop pulls over a car for going 30 mph on the interstate. The blonde protests and says ""30 mph was the speed limit on the sign."" The cop chuckles and says ""no maam that is the highway number not the speed limit."" The officer notices her passengers are all rigid, ashen, shaking, and obviously scared. ""Calm down yall. I'm only giving you a warning."" A passenger in the back responds ""that isn't it officer. We just got off the 105 bypass"".
Me: My son totaled another car. Progressive: I see that you insure 3 teen sons? M: yes P: *covers phone* HEY GUYS, WE'RE GOING TO ARUBA!
*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING
Sometimes I think I should introduce myself to my neighbors just so they don't describe me to the police as "Quiet and keeps to herself."
Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?
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