A guy unfortunately becomes a widower, wants to put an obituary in the local paper... ... He rings them up, asks how much it costs. ""One dollar per word"", says the clerk. ""Ok, here's the message: ""Martha dead"" The clerk pauses and replies: ""You know, people normally say a bit more. If it's the price, yaknow, we have a special on now, pay for 3, get 3 free."" ""Ok, let's do that. Here goes:"" says the guy, ""Martha dead. For Sale Honda Civic""
Whoa I'm floating! Am I...dead? "No it's a dream" What a relief! Wait. Who said that? Grim Reaper: (mutters) shit Uh nobody go back to sleep
NURSE: Doctor, I've lost the cat's pulse VET: Ok. Time of death is 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, 10:05, and 10:05
HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell
The Walking Dead is Jesus's favorite show.
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