[In Court] Does the Defense have any last words? *defense rises* DE-FENSE *Judge holds up picket fence* DE-FENSE *Jury starts The Wave*

COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer

I tweet because it's fun and I like the validation, but also because one day it'll prove to a jury how crazy I am.

Girl, are your legs tired? Cuz you were running through my dreams all night and you did some amazing parkour & also kicked a judge to death.