A woman walks into a hair salon... And she tells a receptionist ""Make me look beautiful"". The receptionist then hands her a business card. Incredulously, the woman asks the receptionist ""I did not know Father John could cut hair"". The receptionist then responds: ""He doesn't. You come to us if you want a haircut. You go to Father John if you need a miracle"". Everyone talks about dad jokes, my mom just told me this one.
[arcade] KID: dad, some guy is hogging the claw machine DAD: hey buddy, why don't you give the kid a turn LOBSTER: BACK OFF WE'RE IN LOVE
Mom: I think I'm gonna make a twitter Me: Mom it costs like $500 a year... Mom: That's expensive I'll stick with Facebook Me: Aww too bad
8 out of 10 men prefer not to date psychotic women with bad tempers, emotional baggage and daddy issues. To the other two.... Hi, I'm MJ
MOM STOP LICKING YOUR FINGER TO CLEAN MY FACE I'M IN A GANG NOW
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