Someone wrote "Jesus Saves" in the bathroom stall at Walmart. Evandalism.

'Appearances can be deceiving' said my fortune cookie message; then I realized I've cracked open a snail.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

At my funeral I want a dozen doves recaptured.