New Girlfriend (38) (*pensively*): Hmmm, I guess things are really getting serious between me and my girlfriend, uh, Rita, because I just added the song ""Lovely Rita"" to my favourites playlist. (*lightheartedly*): I mean, I don't even particularly like that song. **(*Laugh Track*)** (Joke sponsored by Al Tebehalah's Discount Lobotomies)
Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard.
Saying "oh my gosh you're getting so big!" is cute and acceptable to say to a 6 year old. Not so much to an ex-girlfriend.
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
01KKTNBA01DVD6XPNN8PP3SF8Y