A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker went to a restaurant in London. The waiter approached the table and said, ""Excuse me, but if you order the steak you might not get one, as there is a shortage"". The Texan said, ""What's a shortage?"" The Russian said, ""What's a steak?"" The New Yorker said, ""What's excuse me?""
I can't wait till I have kids so I can drive slowly past McDonalds and tell them there's food at home when they ask for some..
I wonder if serial killers watch Criminal Minds like chefs watch the Food Network: "Oh, bad move, I'd have done it this way..."
I lost 30 lbs, and did it without exercising or changing my diet! Ask me how. Not right now, though. I'm waiting for my meth dealer to call.
Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
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