What did the doctor tell a welder when the welder asked if his girlfriend(a pilot) using alternative lube was giving him erectile dysfunction? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams
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ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren't here THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know
When my girlfriend sends me to the supermarket to get cucumbers I also buy Vaseline so the cashier doesn't think I'm a vegan.
"No mom I DON'T HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 18. "No mom I HAVE a boyfriend!" -lie you tell at 28.
DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU
Joke ID:
01KKTNB29SAY5FPE1B3ZP9HNY1