I made up a shit 'Dad Joke' I was talking to my friend the other day, he's a lawyer and was complaining about the current trial he was involved in. Me: ""What is it about?"" Lawyer: ""The accused used a leather satchel to beat another man to death"" Me: ""Oh, do you expect it to go on much longer?"" Lawyer: ""No, it's a brief case"" *Sting/Rimshot*
I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow morning. I don't want to die, sometime in the afternoon would be nice, or even the next day
Lost my first follower today. Funeral is Tuesday. Will be live tweeting. It's what he would have wanted.
Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."
At my funeral I want a dozen doves recaptured.
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