Why is PBS asking me for money? If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment.

Just heard this on a PBS kids show... What did one wolf say to the other wolf? Howls it going?

'Appearances can be deceiving' said my fortune cookie message; then I realized I've cracked open a snail.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.