A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day. She is placing her items on the belt: a TV dinner, a soap opera digest, 3 bottles of wine, and 3 chocolate bars. The clerk looks and her and says ""I hate Valentines Day...what about you, you must be single right?"" ""Yeah"" she responds, ""how did you know? Was it the stuff I'm buying?"" ""Nah, you're ugly""
I imagine Christmas morning at the Schrodinger house is quite stressful.
Tim Burton could've saved a lot of money on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and just shown a 2016 Facebook Year in Review instead.
Cats act so cool all year long & then Christmas comes and they eat tinsel.
I'm hoping someone puts razor blades in my daughter's Halloween candy this year because those things are ridiculously expensive.
01KKTN8EPQNQMS8QKYTM83EEFD