Muck Fichigan There are an Ohio State fan, Michigan fan, and Penn State fan that all find themselves lost in a desert in the middle east. Finally after many hours of wandering around, they happen upon giant palace. Before they can make it up to the entrance, the guards capture them and take them down to the dungeon. After a little while the Prince comes down and begins to explain to them why they are here. He says that in his culture, trespassing is an offense punishable by 100 lashings directly on the back. He understands that they had no idea, so offers them each one wish before continuing, the only stipulation is that they may not ask for less lashings, or none at all. He starts with the Penn State fan. After thinking for a while the Penn State fan asks for a pillow to be harnessed to his back. The guards retrieve a pillow and place it on his back before beginning the lashings. The pillow only softened the blow for 25 lashings before breaking. He receives 75 brutal blows to the back. Now the Michigan fan being as smart as he is does some mental math. If the pillow lasts for 25 lashings, and 25x3=100, then he needs 3 pillows on his back to avoid excruciating pain. He asks for 3 pillows and the guards retrieve them before beginning. Obviously we can all see his mistake, and he takes 25 lashings directly to his back, not nearly as bad as the Penn State fan. The Prince, being as enlightened as he is, notices that the Ohio State fan. He says that Ohio State has The Best Damn Band in The Land, as well as the best football team. He says that he will grant the Ohio State fan two wishes before proceeding with the lashings. The Ohio State fan thinks for a minute then says, ""I believe you are going a little light on us, we did break your laws after all. I think I will take 200 lashings, or any number more for my first wish."" The Prince in shock, takes a minute to process this request, finally he agrees. ""And for your second wish?"" He asks. The Ohio State fan says, ""I wish the Michigan fan was tied to my back.""