Latin killed the Ancient Romans and now it's killing me... Julius Caesar walks into a bar. ""I'll have a martinus,"" he says. The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks ""Don't you mean a martini?"" ""Look,"" Caesar retorts, ""If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!""
FRIENDS reunion (2016) RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up CHANDLER: [texting from home] same... work JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?
Ok America now is our chance to catch up on productivity, health care, math & science while the rest of the world is drunk & watching soccer
My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar.
I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.
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