Some funny pick up lines Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes. If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS? My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in. If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me? Nice legs...what time do they open? Um…I have a lotta money. Hey baby, did you just break wind? Cause you're blowing me away. Hey. Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you …

Things you don't want to hear while undergoing an operation * Did he say the right or left leg? * I'd feel a lot better about this if the dotted lines were pre-drawn like back at school. * Buddy! Buddy! Come back with that! Bad dog! * Hand me that...uh...that uh...thingie. * Oh no! I just lost my watch. * Argh! There go the lights again... * That's so cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?! * I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses. * FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out! * What do you mean you w…

Walking the Dog... Who says dads can't think on their feet? And the innocence of little kids ... A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you." Dad said, "Bring Belle …

Fat cow Teacher is teaching kids Teacher: what does the chicken give you? Student: meat! Teacher: what does the pig give you? Student: bacon! Teacher: what does the fat cow give you? Student: HOMEWORK!!