How can you tell when your girlfriend is too fat? She fits into your wife's clothes.

What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before getting married? Feyonce

A man asked his doctor for a triple Rx of Viagra A man went to the doctor 's office to ask for a triple dosage of Viagra. Doctor: I can't give you a triple dose. Man: Why not? Doctor: Because it's not safe. Man: But I need it really bad. Doctor: Well, why do you need it so badly? Man: My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I've got to have a triple dose. The doctor finally relented…

What Not to Say to a Policeman -- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. -- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving. -- Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me! -- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. -- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? -- You look just like my girlfriend's deadbeat ex-husband. -- The question is -- do YOU know why you pulled me over? -- I was trying to keep up with traffic, and it's miles …