Man goes to a doctor, and he says "I have bad news, and worse news." This one is from [Larry King himsself](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/24aw7s/i_am_larry_king_back_again_on_reddit_amaa/ch5au64) Man goes to a doctor, and he says "I have bad news, and worse news." The doctor says "The bad news is, you have cancer." The patient says "That's terrible! What's the worst news?" The doctor says "You also have Alzheimer's" And the patient says "thank god I don't have cancer!"
accidentally called out my dentist's name during my colonoscopy
Twitter is like a soap opera for some of you. I'd like to be the one who sneaks into the hospital and unplugs your life support.
[first day as a doctor] You seem depressed. Also you look underweight, how's your diet? [nurse interrupts me] "Dr that's the model skeleton"
14yo: My voice keeps randomly changing DOCTOR: That's normal at your age 14yo: [Batman voice] Thank you doctor DOCTOR: That's not normal
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