The Best Toast of the Night Patrick O'Reilly hoisted his beer at his regular pub and offered the following toast: "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me lovely wife!" That won him top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and proudly told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." "Aye, did ye now," said Mary. "And what was your toast?" Thinking quickly, Patrick said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, Patrick!" said Mary. The next day, Mary ran into one of Patrick's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Patrick won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." "Aye, he told me," said Mary, "and I was a bit surprised meself. You know, he'd only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."