Paddy the irishman gets a job Paddy and his friend were hired to install telegraph poles. After his first day his boss approaches and asks how many poles he put down yesterday. paddy says "2" "2!!" says his boss, "My other guys can put 10-15 poles in a day" "yes, but do you see how far theirs are sticking out of the ground"
Interviewer: It says here on your resume you can make chicks laugh, how? Me [holding a chick in my hand & tickling it]: I'm a miracle worker
My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head.
The scariest thing about being a doctor is if you ever, even once, accidentally call it a "cooter" you're fired for life.
Heard rumors that a coworker slept her way to a promotion. Damn, if the bosses only saw how much I sleep at my desk I'd own this place.
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