A man walks into a bar with an octopus He says “A hundred bucks says my octopus can play any instrument you give it!” One man hands him an acoustic guitar. The octopus fiddles with the strings a bit, then strums out a rendition of Wonderwall. A woman from the back hands the octopus a trumpet. The octopus fiddles with the valves, then puts the mouthpiece to its beak and plays some Louis Armstrong. The bartender has an idea. He heads upstairs, then comes back down with bagpipes. The octopus takes the bagpipes, turns them over and spends about a minute tugging on the fabric. The man, getting impatient, yells “Hurry up and play already!” The octopus looks at him, confused. “Play?” it says, “I was trying to figure out how to get her pants off.”